Thoughts of an Angel Mommy, Chapter Five

  You can only joke and laugh it off, for so long, until the reality of how bad it is catches up with you. New health update upcoming…

 

  I could really use some thoughts, prayers and positivity this morning. My neck MRI is today and hoping for answers as to why I’ve been in pain for so long now. Pain and tingling in the back of my neck, restricted muscles around the area of pain, and weakness, numbness and pain down both arms. It’s been a journey and I’m more than ready, and hopefully I finally get the relief and healing I’ve needed. Thank you all for your continued support! Scrubs for this morning’s neck MRI. I have to say, it’s not my least favorite scan I’ve done, however it wasn’t great either. Was challenging to hold myself still with my neck pain, my shoulder, arms & wrist pain, low back pain, and my right drop-foot sagging down for about 45-or-so minutes. Was told my orthopedic doctor and my patient portal, should have results sent in within 24 hours. Fingers crossed this helps provide answers. I’ve been doing scans like this for around 17.5 years. As well as multiple surgeries. Thank you for your conti...

  Originally from my Facebook Page, Holding Onto Hope , shared on March 29th, 2023. Click here to view the blog and video .  "My heart feels like it’s glowing today, the first time in a long time. Snapped a few photos or myself wearing my orange shrug with my red and white ‘Follow Your Heart’ T-shirt, my mala around my neck, rainbow crochet bag strap around my side, curly brunette hair, ear and nose jewelry, subtle lip color, no make up. After snapping some fun photos, I made a short video. The video has a few words I decided to add throughout, as well as upbeat music that describes what my heart is feeling this moment, my soul is glowing too. I hope this feeling sticks around for awhile. Video words: Find Your Joy, Take Care Of Yourself, Do What Lifts You Up, Make Dreams Reality, Be Bold, A Glowing Heart Is A Happy Heart. "

  Yesterday was a very difficult and emotional day for me. Technology wasn’t working and I basically “lost it” and overwhelmingly cried for the bulk of the entire afternoon. I then reached out to one of the groups I volunteer in, and said I couldn’t get what I needed to, completed on time. It was quite frustrating and I felt like I had failed, and I still feel that way. I should be invincible, right?! No, I am not. Everyone chipped in and helped, I knew they would, however I didn’t want to add to their list of responsibilities. Guess what friends, THIS is what community is about!! Helping each other. I then made a video that spanned the length of about 45 minutes in total, and shared it on my personal profile. I talked about what’s been happening in my life and opened up about the struggles I’ve been facing. I plan to share here soon, however, hopefully, it will be a little less emotionally charged. I can still count on one hand how many times I’ve cried since November 1st, yesterd...

 Originally from my Facebook Page, Holding Onto Hope . March 2nd, 2023. Click here to see the original post and video .  "Nine minutes and thirty three seconds, that’s all I’m asking for you to take the time out of your day to listen. I’ve been experiencing a lot lately and it’s simply overwhelming. So thank you for taking the time today to hear me, and I want you to know you’re not alone. If you can relate at all, I’m here for you to be your sounding board. One of the best things we can do is support others. Remember to take care of yourself, that’s what I’m going to do now, for as best as I’m able today, all while trying to accomplish with what I need to do. I appreciate your prayers, positivity, encouragement, love, and support. It means more than you know. Thank you, Namaste and take care! "

 February 24th, 2023, originally from my Facebook Page, Holding Onto Hope . Feel free to click here to see the original post .  " Good evening everyone, I wanted to share what I wrote last night after I had the worst panic attack I’ve had in my life. Apparently I’ve been unintentionally internalizing my feelings and not expressing, to many other than a few close family, my church, and my friends; what I’ve been experiencing the past few months. Watching your body fall apart, is hard, there are not enough words to describe the sorrow it brings. Grieving the loss of physical movement, the ability to walk… Without further ado, here is the poem I wrote. And I’ll be sure to link my blog post in this too, just in case you missed the post I shared before this one. Slow FAST Decline Written by Evelyn L. Schwenke, February 24th, 2023, at 12:10am. If you knew how hard it was, would you say ‘At least it’s not as bad as…’ “fill in the blank”? Or remind me of how strong I am, after all, tr...

 February 23rd, 2023, video from my Facebook Page, Holding Onto Hope . Click here to see the original Facebook post .  " Today has me feeling so many emotions. So after I arrived home I decided to chat a little bit about what’s been on my mind and my heart. About 8 or so minutes, so if you watch, hang in there, I appreciate your taking a moment out of your day to listen and hopefully take some of what I talked about, to heart. Being there for others, is such a gift. I’ve talked about being there for yourself of course, however have you ever considered that helping another, also helps yourself?! It feels true for myself at least. If you feel moved to do so, I would love to hear how you were able to help another person today. As always, take care of yourself and I hope this day is kind to you. Namaste. "

 Originally shared from my Facebook Page, Holding Onto Hope . February 22nd, 2023. Click here to view the original Facebook post .  " Day 2 with a video check-in. Been experiencing quite a bit lately, keeping busy today. I hope this season of Lent is peaceful for you. Looking forward to journaling every day during Lent. This video isn’t 11 minutes today so feel free to tune in. We all can use a little bit of hope, and you know I’m holding onto so much hope these days. Remember self-care, be there for others in your community, and may you have a gentle week. If it’s warmer today, get outside and enjoy some sunshine. Namaste and take care. "

 Originally shared from my Facebook Page, Holding Onto Hope . February 21st, 2023. Click here to see the original Facebook post .  " Hello and good afternoon. I hope today finds you as well as can be. I wanted to do something today that is a little out of my comfort zone, make a video and sing a song. This video is unedited, and me. Nervous, anxious, self-conscious, and rusty vocals. No filters, no makeup, and no prep time beforehand. *Editing to add that this is more just myself talking, as I forgot that melody part way through the song, so thanks for listening.* My heart has a large great of thanks to our friends who invited us to First United Methodist Church Blue Springs , one year ago was our first visit, and we have been attending ever since. I feel like a part of a caring, compassionate community, my spiritual family, and thankful to be a part of a wonderful Life Group of parents. Even my kiddo is growing spiritually as person and I enjoy watching him as he figures out...