Thoughts of an Angel Mommy, Chapter Five

  Last week I went in to see my orthopedic doctor in Lee’s Summit. He did an EMG on my neck (checking nerve responses and also using needles, ouch!). I’ve been having pain and tingling for years in my neck. This has also caused me to have restricted movement. When I sleep on my sides, at times it feels near impossible to get comfortable without pain starting at my neck, my shoulders, then all the way down my arms to my fingertips with numbness. I learned that the last four years, since I had the EMG done, that my carpal tunnel in both wrists is now so severe that I will need to see a hand specialist, for outpatient surgery. Of course I am waiting until after I get my new walking brace for my drop foot, as to not do any new damage to my wrists after surgery. My brace appointment has also been delayed due to it not arriving a month after my custom mold was done. By the time I finally get my walking brace, so long that it actually arrives on time, it will be about two months of waitin...

Today… It wasn't an easy morning, the past few years has been hard on my family. Other typical daily challenges make everything feel much harder than it needs to be. A look back in time… Yesterday… It felt like a bitter-sweet day.  Celebrating my husband's birthday, the joyful moments. Gritting my teeth through the pain my body and ankle gives me. Unless you know me or have been around me during the difficult moments, you may never realize how heartbreaking this degeneration has been for me.  Why is my body falling apart?  Why can't answers be found?  The waiting has been hard on my heart.   Wearing my new-to-me shrug / sweater. Channeling my inner dude. Anyone ever watch the movie, The Big Lebowski?  I feel so very tired and a little bit overwhelmed these days. Procrastination is frustrating, as I find it challenging to move forward with responsibilities when so much unknown still lies ahead.  I find myself taking more photos these days. I try to reme...