Thoughts of an Angel Mommy, Chapter Five

  I took this photo today outside of a church, visited and gave condolences and love to my family. Saw so many people who’s lives were impacted and inspired, while remembering a beautiful and kind soul, my cousin Kathy. I can only hope that when my day arrives, that my loved ones honor me in a similar way, celebrating my life, and with color! I then wrote the following when I shared this photo on my personal profile. The spirit of the day moved me to write and share what was on my heart. “And may you cherish time shared with loved ones, for you don’t know when your last embrace will be. Hopeful your words and actions were that of comfort, and your heartache at ease through the grief of loss. Remembering and honoring in spirit, my family, friends, those tragically gone too soon, those I’ve never met, my last 2.5 years of losses, and my angel babies who watch over us; that are no longer with us. Whatever my future holds, I continue to hold onto hope. And that my life is full of peace...

Today… It wasn't an easy morning, the past few years has been hard on my family. Other typical daily challenges make everything feel much harder than it needs to be. A look back in time… Yesterday… It felt like a bitter-sweet day.  Celebrating my husband's birthday, the joyful moments. Gritting my teeth through the pain my body and ankle gives me. Unless you know me or have been around me during the difficult moments, you may never realize how heartbreaking this degeneration has been for me.  Why is my body falling apart?  Why can't answers be found?  The waiting has been hard on my heart.   Wearing my new-to-me shrug / sweater. Channeling my inner dude. Anyone ever watch the movie, The Big Lebowski?  I feel so very tired and a little bit overwhelmed these days. Procrastination is frustrating, as I find it challenging to move forward with responsibilities when so much unknown still lies ahead.  I find myself taking more photos these days. I try to reme...