Thoughts of an Angel Mommy, Chapter Five

  Have you ever thanked yourself before? I do it now from time to time. I felt like a letter to myself could be nice to read in the future. Dear Evelyn, Thank you for embracing life months ago, and living in the moment. I admire your strength, compassion, your positivity, hope, love, and peace. All the work you've done has gotten me here, and continuing to teach me. 'Future' Evelyn thanks you too. Keep up the great work, so you may worry less about what was, what could be, and enjoy what is. Sincerely and with love, 'Present' Evelyn

  Yesterday was a very difficult and emotional day for me. Technology wasn’t working and I basically “lost it” and overwhelmingly cried for the bulk of the entire afternoon. I then reached out to one of the groups I volunteer in, and said I couldn’t get what I needed to, completed on time. It was quite frustrating and I felt like I had failed, and I still feel that way. I should be invincible, right?! No, I am not. Everyone chipped in and helped, I knew they would, however I didn’t want to add to their list of responsibilities. Guess what friends, THIS is what community is about!! Helping each other. I then made a video that spanned the length of about 45 minutes in total, and shared it on my personal profile. I talked about what’s been happening in my life and opened up about the struggles I’ve been facing. I plan to share here soon, however, hopefully, it will be a little less emotionally charged. I can still count on one hand how many times I’ve cried since November 1st, yesterd...

Grief counseling, haircut, energy work, thrift-store browsing, and seeing friends at the PTA meeting. Today was exactly what my heart needed. Introducing this more enlightened, open hearted, full of hope and love, spiritual, more mentally and emotionally stable; me. 😌💚 Its been quite the week of realizations and growth. Looking forward to what this part of my life blossoms into. Finding the peace with acceptance, we have no idea what awaits us in the future, we learn from the past, and make the most of our moments that help shape the future. Remember to be kind to yourself. Much love and thanks to everyone who’s been there for me, and my family, while I walk this unknown path, and guide myself through the fog to a clear horizon. 💗

  Sunday, January 15th, 2023, was a day I remember. Thankfully, photographs I've taken over the past years, have helped me remember days like this.  Visiting family in the St. Louis area to celebrate my 42nd birthday. A weekend of joy, and also a weekend of pain and tears. However before I discuss my day in what detail I remember, I wish to go back in time a little bit further.  It was the year of 2006, I was preparing to go into lumbar spinal surgery and hopeful it would help with the lumbar disc degeneration, pain, and other uncomfortable difficulties. At the time this was not something I decided on lightly, and I took a lot of faith and trust into the neurosurgeon I was a patient with at the time. Of course, years later I would learn that not only did this surgeon operate on a patient that caused a malpractice law suit to arise, the patient died. Upon further research, information that was not available years prior, years of malpractice suits from multiple patients. I ...