Thoughts of an Angel Mommy, Chapter Five

  This was me a few days ago… Smiling through the pain. Just in case anyone wonders why I am not smiling all the time, this is one reason. ‘Fibromyalgia’ flare up, nerve spasms, full body pains, and even the drop in temperature did something to me that day. I have said for a long time, like a broken record, that I’m always feeling cold, and my body pains get worse when it’s hot, however I like the warmer temperatures and I prefer ice packs to help calm my nerves or aches and pains down… Oh my, that’s a lot. I feel like I was in such a habit over the last few years to state what was mentioned above, and my declining health distracted me. Honestly, I do best around the temperature of 72-75 degrees. These past few months my body has been experiencing a lot of change, and I feel that whatever undiagnosed element is happening inside of my body, is beginning to show itself. I finally have an appointment to see a rheumatologist. Hopeful for answers so I can better know how to take care of...

Today… It wasn't an easy morning, the past few years has been hard on my family. Other typical daily challenges make everything feel much harder than it needs to be. A look back in time… Yesterday… It felt like a bitter-sweet day.  Celebrating my husband's birthday, the joyful moments. Gritting my teeth through the pain my body and ankle gives me. Unless you know me or have been around me during the difficult moments, you may never realize how heartbreaking this degeneration has been for me.  Why is my body falling apart?  Why can't answers be found?  The waiting has been hard on my heart.   Wearing my new-to-me shrug / sweater. Channeling my inner dude. Anyone ever watch the movie, The Big Lebowski?  I feel so very tired and a little bit overwhelmed these days. Procrastination is frustrating, as I find it challenging to move forward with responsibilities when so much unknown still lies ahead.  I find myself taking more photos these days. I try to reme...