Thoughts of an Angel Mommy, Chapter Five

 

 

  When life gives you white hairs, have fun because it’s a sign of wisdom… That’s me trying to make a joke, I have no lemons right now for lemonade. What I am doing is trying my best to get through each day and take what life gives me and make the most of it. Remember your self-care and take real time for yourself each day, because that feeling of burnout, is real. PS- What I said about wisdom is true, by the way. Enjoying learning and growing as a person throughout all the seasons of life.

 I have had many thoughts as of late and wanted to write them down. I have also decided to work on my creative writing, so I will do some of that here too.  Today was a day full of sunshine and activities. I am grateful that I was able to be there for my kid for Field Day, even though I only saw him in passing.  One more day of school and then summer vacation. Hopefully a nice summer filled with some wonderful memories. 

 They felt like a hollow shell, going through the motions, unsure how to break out and go in a new direction. Concerned about the consequences of moving on. Feeling more friendship than deep love, trying to open their heart every day, only feeling slight moments during times of complete relaxation.  Realizing that food was their substitution for a caring person in their life, food was the comfort they weren't getting at whatever time it was. Still feeling that nudge to overeat occasionally.  They feel like it is an obligation to stay, almost out of fear or worry of the "what ifs" that will arise from their family, as they won't fully understand why. However giving more credit than many would because children, family, friends, because people pick up on the little things, even if you don't think they do. The last few weeks and months they haven't felt right, and truth be told, things haven't felt right for years, they didn't know if they ever truly did. ...

 I don't know what to do, how to feel, how to go forward, all while feeling trapped in one way or another. 

  I did a thing. Featuring a view of my new haircut with the multi colors of reds and golden blonde. Think I’ll have some fun this summer.